28 Friday Jun 2013
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, death, grief, heartbreak, longing, loss, love, memories, memory, Mother, Mum, poetry, UK poet, Yorkshire poet
The scent of your clothes
the dazzle of a diamond
it was all yours
and I never
was a part
of you
But since you have gone
these eight years short
Indian summers
and I never
am apart
from
you
© Remembering 28.06.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
In remembrance of my Mother who died eight years ago. Still in my heart and thoughts every day ❤
22 Friday Mar 2013
Posted in Death, Deep Stuff!, Grief, Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Chanel, death, dreams, haunted, memories, Mother, nightime, poetry, UK poet, Yorkshire poet
This is the final piece from the poetry workshop. The final piece was inspired by Maitreyabandhu’s ‘The Bond’
The idea was to give a feel of anticipation of an impending visit, and use Maitreyabandhu’s closing phrase of, ‘Just the air’, within the poem.
Just the Air
All is still…
and I am present,
caught between two worlds,
just the air as our witness,
and a pillow of dreams
as darkest night unfurls.
I smell your sickly lily scent,
of cigarettes and light Chanel.
Why do you come?
What do you want?
Forgiveness or
remembrance,
from your little girl?
You left in anger
not once, but twice.
So why return
in darkest night,
when you’ve been gone,
these eight years long?
© Just the Air 22.03.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
English: Moon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
04 Tuesday Sep 2012
Posted in Daily life, Deep Stuff!, Loss, Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, empty nest, empty nest syndrome, graduation, grief, heart, loss, moon, Mother, nest, poetry, rook, Sea, separation, shore, Son, stars, sun, sunrise
How can the sea,
leave the shore?
How can the moon,
the stars ignore?
How can I live,
without my heart,
and grieve for you,
whilst we’re apart?
How can my sun,
no longer shine?
I will not see,
sunrise sublime.
How can the word,
without the book,
the empty nest,
without the rook.
How can the empty
space be filled?
By graduations,
new lives rebuild.
© Empty Nest 04.09.2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
English: Female robin cleaning the nest (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
25 Saturday Aug 2012
Posted in Daily life, Deep Stuff!, Longing & Waiting, Loss, Love, Poetry, Waiting and Longing
Tags
aging, Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Birthday, Christmas, Daughter, death, garden, grief, loss, memories, Mother, Mum, poetry
I see an old lady,
and I think of you –
enjoying her garden,
as so should you
Tinsel and fairy lights,
I really miss you;
coloured stockings hang,
each a memory from you.
Then comes the summer,
and I mourn for you,
for all the lost days,
and the things we can’t do.
When I hear a joke,
I want to tell you,
to laugh like two schoolgirls,
‘til tears wet cheeks through.
Each birthday ticks by,
I wait for your card,
I know it won’t come,
but it still hits me hard.
When I see an old lady,
it seems so unfair,
‘cause you’ll never grow old,
no stick, no grey hair.
When I see an old lady,
with daughter at side,
I think to myself,
That should be I…
© I Think of You 25/08/2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
the stockings were hung by the…tv stand (Photo credit: LizMarie_AK)
12 Tuesday Jun 2012
Posted in Deep Stuff!, Loss, Poetry
You made the same mistake as her;
the truth is staring you in the face,
screaming so loud, you cannot see,
that you walk to the same dark place.
You’ve ventured down this path before
too far, turn back, embrace the pain
shame and defeat, walk hand in hand.
Is it too late to start all over again,
and to make the same mistake as her?
© Mistakes 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
An illustration from page 30 of Mjallhvít (Snow White) an 1852 icelandic translation of the Grimm-version fairytale (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
30 Monday Apr 2012
Posted in Deep Stuff!, Longing & Waiting, Poetry
Tags
butterflies, cry, Daffodils, days, death, fleeting, longing, loss, memories, migrate, Mother, mourning, Mum, poetry, tears, wilderness
The Wilderness Years are over,
they are with us no more;
while birds migrate for winter time,
so Death has closed the door.
The days were, oh, so fleeting,
like butterflies in spring.
The time we spent together
made my lonely heart sing.
Shared memories of daffodils,
we laughed until we cried –
we cried until our tears ran dry,
I was ever by your side.
How could this have happened?
How could you leave this way?
I always think about us –
and mourn you every-day.
© Wilderness Years 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
A show of daffodils by the A6091 Melrose bypass road These daffodils are on the northeast embankment of the A6091 near Melrose Roundabout. The verges of a 3km length of road from the roundabout to the eastern end of Melrose were planted with daffodils several years ago [562294]. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
23 Monday Apr 2012
Posted in Deep Stuff!, Longing & Waiting, Poetry, Worldly Winds
Tags
anger, bitter, death, heart, heartbreak, kiss, longing, loss, memories, memory, Mother, pain, tears
Bitter sweet, bitter Suite,
you break my heart again.
I gently hold you in my arms
try not to cause you pain.
This sweetness to be with you,
to see your face once more;
to cherish just one last sweet kiss,
before death slams the door.
Oh to be with you right now
to talk and laugh again!
For focus, love and clarity –
the calm before the pain.
You hold me tight and whisper,
but death clasps tighter still;
a grip around our fragile hearts,
it’s a bitter poisoned pill.
You try to look, you try to see,
but your eyes are not the same.
Could you even see me
when I screamed out your name?
The feeling of bewilderment
as you take your last breath.
You leave in anger, not in peace,
I can’t walk with you in death
Death claimed your heart, and you claimed mine,
you’ve gone where I can’t follow.
You’ve left me sad and broken down;
my heart is dead and hollow.
Bitter sweet, bitter Suite
the feeling’s still the same.
Life and death go hand in hand,
but the memories remain.
© Bitter Sweet, Bitter Suite 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Elizabeth Siddal was the model for Sir John Everett Millais’s Ophelia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Worldly Winds 