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Worldly Winds

Category Archives: Heartbreak

Slán Abhaile

11 Sunday Nov 2018

Posted by Worldly Winds in Buddhism, Death, Deep Stuff!, Grief, Heartbreak, Love, Poetry

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Tags

Alex Carr-Malcolm poet, Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Bhante, poetry, Sangharakshita, Slan Abhaile, Worldly Winds poetry, Yorkshire poet

Yesterday I attended the funeral of my Buddhist teacher Urgyen Sangharakshita along with over 1200 other Buddhists. It was a beautiful, poignant, moving ceremony. I have never experienced anything as immense in my lifetime. Despite the heavy downpour of rain, the birds still sang, and the wind played in the autumn trees. By the time the procession to the burial ground took place, the sun came out and lifted the heavy skies.

I cannot adequately put into words my gratitude to Bhante. I met him twice, once at a shared meal at the Sheffield Buddhist Centre, and later in Birmingham (2011). He guided  and inspired my Buddhist practice, and encouraged me to take my writing seriously. Without his guidance and teachings I doubt I would be where I am today.

How do I say thank you, and how do I say goodbye? I started to write this poem on the way down to the funeral and finished it on the way back. This poem relates to the loss of significant people in my life – Safe Home Bhante Urgyen Sangharaksita, go well.

20181110_155143~2

Slán Abhaile

 

How do I say goodbye?

When I am living at the speed of life,

the eggshells I am walking on

pricking at my soul.

Remote and inaccessible,

with drawbridge raised to love,

how do I say goodbye?

The Trinity and Trilogy

conjoined in parse asymmetry,

seem so insignificant.

 

How do I say goodbye?

 

Slán Abhaile by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

10.11.18

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Out of Reach

07 Friday Apr 2017

Posted by Worldly Winds in Heartbreak, NaPoWriMo17, Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Alex Carr-Malcolm poet, Alexandra Carr-Malcolm Out of Reach, Alexandra Carr-Malcolm poetry, NaPoWriMo17, napowrimo2017, Out of Reach, poetry

!image0011

I am beyond tears,

numb, sad, in grief.

 

Somehow the world limps on

sputtering bile, hate.

Maybe I should pray to a god?

Maybe I should pray

that the meek will inherit…

but inherit what?

Not this damaged earth.

 

Maybe they will play

amongst the stars,

looking down,

willing us,

to reach out

and reach up.

 

We can be so much more.

 

Out of reach 2016

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

blog3

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Rumi

08 Wednesday Jul 2015

Posted by Worldly Winds in Heartbreak, Poetry

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Green Tara, heartbreak, pain, poetry, Rumi

Tara

I said what about my eyes?

“Keep them on the road”

I said what about my passion?

“Keep it burning”

I said what about my heart?

“Tell me what you hold inside it?”

I said pain and sorrow

He said:

“Stay with it”

 

by Rumi

Picture Credit

Green Tara – Painting by Devendra Man Sinkhwal, Nepal

http://www.tibetanart.com

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Eight Lilies

28 Sunday Jun 2015

Posted by Worldly Winds in Death, Heartbreak, Poetry

≈ 27 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, grief, longing, loss, Mother, mourning, Mum, poetry, Yorkshire poet

It has been ten years since the death of my mother. This is one of my favourite poems dedicated to her. Not a day goes by when she isn’t missed and mourned.

300px-Easter_Lilies-Lilium_longiflorum

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eight Lilies of remembrance,

stand to mark the way.

Eight lilies, one for each of you,

respect and honour the day;

to show that I still think of you,

though that day is done,

each lily marks a bygone past,

from a lifetime that is gone.

 

I smell their sweet thick lily scent,

It makes me think of you;

with fondest memories in my heart,

and tears that are now few.

No longer living in my world,

It is as though you’re dead.

The lilies are memorial,

to words still left unsaid.

 

© Eight Lilies 2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

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Memory Lane

21 Tuesday Apr 2015

Posted by Worldly Winds in Heartbreak, Love, NaPoWriMo, Poetry

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Alex Carr-Malcolm poet, Alex Carr-Malcolm poetry, Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, cafe bars, deep purple haze, electric guitars, heartbreak, longing, love, memories, memory, napowrimo, Passages Dagda Publishing, poetry, UK poet, Uk poetry, writing, Yorkshire poet

96c68f0f7005328fe8756b5c0197c36e

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

electric guitars

trysts in cafe bars

balmy summer days

memory’s a deep purple haze

thirty years of I love you’s

Pearl teardrops soak through

LP’s and RP’s

Creme Eggs and Smarties

he’s not you

that much is true

and I’m not her

old flames

inflamed

 

© Memory Lane 14.11.2013

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Picture Credit: https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/240238961343388899/

NaPoWriMo15

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Melpomene

15 Wednesday Apr 2015

Posted by Worldly Winds in Heartbreak, Longing & Waiting, NaPoWriMo, Poetry

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Alex Carr-Malcolm poet, Alex Carr-Malcolm poetry, Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, heartbreak, longing, loss, Melpomene, napowrimo, poetry, sorrow, UK poet, Uk poetry, writing, Yorkshire poet

dcc5bf92c06a55ba39083b423855f17b

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve laid down my life,

for you – I’ve waited;

Occupying, mystifying,

paths crossed, stars fated.

You are the moon,

and I the clown,

with red nose and tears,

Pierrot Cinderella gown,

grind my glass slipper

into the ground.

Who us the muse,

in this tragedy?

Melpomene masks,

the parody.

 

© Melpomene 02.03.2013

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Picture Credit: https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/300544975109623212/

Pinterest: Gabrielle Booth

NaPoWriMo15

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Tears

04 Saturday Apr 2015

Posted by Worldly Winds in Grief, Heartbreak, Longing & Waiting, NaPoWriMo, Poetry

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Alex Carr-Malcolm poet, Alex Carr-Malcolm poetry, Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, grief, heartbreak, longing, loss, love, poetry, tears, UK poet, Uk poetry, Yorkshire poet

d45a19ed8c3ed8346a5a1a35d848b935

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A love like ours

could have illuminated

eternal night skies.

 

Instead our tears

light up the firmament

and the stars burn our souls.

 

© Tears 04.04.15

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Photo Credit: Pinterest –

Raymond Philippe https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/552816922982643784/

NaPoWriMo15

 

 

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Violets

22 Tuesday Apr 2014

Posted by Worldly Winds in Heartbreak, NaPoWriMo, Poetry

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, domestic abuse, poetry, UK poet, Uk poetry, violets, Yorkshire poet

300px-Violets_by_the_coast_path_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1267169

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His pint glass half empty,

he’s nursing the blues;

always bitter, never mild,

flat cap and scuffed shoes.

 

She hoovers the house,

with stars in her hair,

sings to her muse,

thanks god he’s not there.

 

As he sits in the pub,

nursing his woes,

the footy is lost,

as the last whistle blows.

 

In her Primarni dress,

she scrubs hard the floor,

heart in her mouth,

dreads the key in the door.

 

He shuffles on home,

with her heart in his boots,

a belly of beer,

and a loin full of fruit.

 

She accepts his gift,

with the grace of a Queen,

a necklace of violets,

blacks, blues, and greens.

 

He broods and he dreams,

cultivating his grudge;

she’s stolen his youth,

this old, plain, drudge.

 

She lies stock-still

as the stars in the air.

He can no longer hurt,

what is no longer there.

 

© Violets 27.03.2013

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

English: Violets by the coast path This year seems to have been particularly good for violets. This is part of a bank also scattered with lesser celandine. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

napo2014button1

 

 

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Silhouettes and Soliloquies

23 Sunday Mar 2014

Posted by Worldly Winds in Deep Stuff!, Heartbreak, Longing & Waiting, Loss, Poetry, Waiting and Longing

≈ 23 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, death, dreams, grief, heartbreak, longing, loss, memories, pain, poetry, sorrow, soul, UK poet, Uk poetry, Yorkshire poet

Shining_-_IV_-_The_Eerie_Cold

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m hiding in the shadows,

it’s where I long to be,

drifting into dreamscapes,

singing sad soliloquies.

 

I have my other life, you see?

I’ve lived it since a child;

It’s not quite real – that I know,

but I’ve lived it for a while.

 

The daytime is the hardest,

a cruel life chased by death;

but night time is so easy,

sleep brings immortal breath.

 

What’s real, what’s not?

Well who’s to say?

Each one its own delusion,

by night the moon –

by day the sun –

each life is an illusion.

 

Shadows play upon my mind,

ghosts welcome setting sun;

silhouettes of dreams gone by

half-lives, loves-lived, undone.

 

So let me go, and leave me be,

to live each night anew.

I’ll sing my sweet soliloquies,

while dreams bring me to you.

 

 

© Silhouettes and Soliloquies 2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

The Eerie Cold (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

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Paramour

11 Tuesday Mar 2014

Posted by Worldly Winds in Heartbreak, Longing & Waiting, Loss, Love, Poetry

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

Alex Carr-Malcolm poet, Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, heart, heartbreak, longing, loss, love, memories, memory, paramour, poetry, tears, UK poet, Uk poetry, Yorkshire poet

teareye3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Within my mind I see your face,

still haunted by the sound of your laughter,

recalling the warmth of your sweet embrace.

 

All these I carry within my heart.

 

See my head turn as I hear your name,

watch my heart break when you touch my dreams,

the tears that burn with the memory pain.

 

All these I carry within my heart.

My lovely, lovely, paramour.

 

 

© Paramour 06/03/2012

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

 

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© Alexandra Carr-Malcolm and Worldly Winds, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alexandra Carr-Malcolm and Worldly Winds with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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