Category Archives: Humour

Hip Hip Hooray!

25 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 37 Comments

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Candles spell out the traditional English birt...

 

 

 

It’s my birthday today,

and I’m in a good mood.

I’m out for the day,

for some wine and good food.

 

I still feel quite young,

though my mirror would scoff;

I feel twenty three,

erm… excuse me – don’t laugh!

 

I’ve got a few pressies,

I’ll be staying up late,

I’m hoping there’ll be,

Champagne and a cake.

 

We might skip the candles,

as there’d be quite a few,

I don’t fancy a lift,

from the local fire crew!

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed,

my celebratory poem,

it’s just a cunning way,

to get my birthday known!

 

You can send me good wishes,

for my special day,

but please – no bumps….

or we’ll be here all day!!

 

© Hip Hip Hooray 25.10.2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Candles spell out the traditional English birthday greeting (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Carole Withany III – Rave!

16 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by in Humour, Poetry

≈ 8 Comments

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Rave

 

 

 

 

Aunty Carole and Uncle Dave,

went out one night,

to a warehouse Rave!

 

With bobble hats,

upon their head,

they danced until,

they felt half-dead.

 

With neon whistles,

around their neck,

they bopped away,

they did – by ‘eck!

 

Around the clock,

– until half ten,

then they went,

back home again.

 

They made a cuppa,

took off their coats,

then snuggled up to

watch, ‘Murder She Wrote’.

 

Dave looked at Carole,

and with a grin,

said, ‘I’m really glad,

we didn’t stay in!’

 

With matching PJ’s,

and his ‘n’ her mugs,

Carole Withany,

gave him a hug!

 

© Carole Withany III – Rave! 16.10.2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Photo Credit – Rave (Photo credit: tuxthepenguin84)

 

Related articles

A Tribute to my Slippers

29 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 14 Comments

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Everybody needs a pair of these.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wearing slippers,

is an old bird thing…

For when once young,

naked feet would spring,

through dew grass sweet,

and street baked heat.

As the years soon decline,

bare feet, though sublime,

our child’s heart now subdued,

we reach for comfort of our shoes.

No more feet, wet and wild,

as I did when a child.

Now I groan out of bed,

feeling old and half dead,

toasty toes hit cold floor,

then I crave for the allure,

of my slippers cosy warm,

safe from harm,

of cold chills,

and spikey ills,

that can harm footsies,

or stubbed tootsies.

Yes – I can attest,

that my slippers,

are the best!

 

© A Tribute to my Slippers 29.09.2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Everybody needs a pair of these. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Big Toes and Bath Taps

20 Thursday Sep 2012

Posted by in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 14 Comments

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Slipper bathtub in Amsterdam store window.

 

 

 

 

 

I stuck my toe up the bath tap,

I know what you’re thinking,

it didn’t get trapped.

I wriggled it about,

then pulled back down –

and to my surprise,

it was mucky and brown!

 

© Bath Taps and Toes 20.09.2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

The Highs and Woes

28 Tuesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Anger, Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 13 Comments

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"ODDS NIPPERKINS! cried Mother Bunch on h...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My heart it is broken,

my head is a mess,

my soul it is injured,

I’m still me, none the less.

 

I had a good go,

at living this life,

I’ve endured the woes,

and the troubles, and strife.

 

I’ve played by the rules,

and I’ve learned the hard way,

from the school of hard knocks,

but I never did stray.

 

Oh! I played it so safe…

wore my goody two shoes,

the obedient girl,

see my halo shine through?

 

Now, I stamp down my foot,

and the gloves they are off,

just watch this worm turn,

‘cause enough is enough!

 

I’ve polished my broomstick,

and I’m ready to fly,

the halo has gone,

as I take to the sky.

 

© Highs and Woes  28.08.2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

“ODDS NIPPERKINS! cried Mother Bunch on her broomstick” for the letter o in Aldiborontiphoskyphorniostikos. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Silent but Deadly

25 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 16 Comments

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To discourage seed predators, pulses contain t...

 

 

 

 

 

I’m silent but deadly,

I’m telling no lie,

I’m topped up on lentils,

with beans on the side.

Please don’t breathe in,

as you are sure to die,

I’m about to explode,

and blow us sky high!

 

© Silent but Deadly 25/08/2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Prapancha Soup – Recipe for Disaster!

18 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by in Buddhism, Deep Stuff!, Humour, Poetry

≈ 27 Comments

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English: Beetroot soup with vegetables and har...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Take a cup of envy,

and mix it with some greed,

season it with hatred,

then add some, woe is me!

 

Plus one spoon of ego,

marinade in pity,

righteous indignation,

will make the mixture pretty.

 

Make a quick snap judgement,

blend it with assumption,

now, Prapancha Soup,

is ready for consumption!

 

 

© Prapancha Soup 18/08/2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

English: Beetroot soup with vegetables and hard-boiled eggs, Sanok (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dilemma

15 Wednesday Aug 2012

Posted by in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 15 Comments

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85 - Under the covers

85 – Under the covers (Photo credit: minxlj)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m in a dilemma –

Oh what should I do?

Why is it just me,

that this happens to?

 

I’m in my posh frock,

peng from head to my toes.

There is just one problem,

the spot on my nose!

 

It glows like a beacon,

landing the planes,

I really can’t squeeze it,

‘cos I can’t bear the pain!

 

There’s only one option –

one thing I can do,

hide under my duvet,

and eat a chocolate or two!

 

© Dilemma 2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Sugar Rush

25 Wednesday Jul 2012

Posted by in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 23 Comments

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I’m whacked out on sugar,

my mood it is high,

I’m giddy and playful,

just look at me fly!

 

No need to worry,

I’m prepared for the crash,

I have foamy bananas,

in my secret stash!

 

© Sugar Rush 2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Fairy Steps

08 Sunday Jul 2012

Posted by in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 14 Comments

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Fairy Offering Posy of Harebells to Elsie, the...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step like fairies,

tread the air,

footsteps fine,

like no one’s there.

 

Cherish earth,

don’t stamp her down,

gentle steps,

caress the ground.

 

Pity creatures,

underfoot,

do not squash them –

Elephant!

 

Practice lightly,

as you walk,

silently,

your footsteps talk.

 

© Fairy Steps 2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Fairy Offering Posy of Harebells to Elsie, the fourth of the photographs of the Cottingley Fairies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)