• PHOENIX
  • Parris
  • Counting Magpies
  • Tipping Sheep (the right way)
  • Publications
  • All About Alex
  • Add Me

Worldly Winds

~ It's not easy being me!

Worldly Winds

Tag Archives: humour

The i’s and Ears

02 Saturday Mar 2013

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, humour, iphone, ipod, poetry, trains, travel, UK poet, Yorkshire poet

Most Humorous, Senior Superlatives, Fayettevil...

 

 

 

 

 

I’m at the station,

feeling impatient,

wanting to get on my way.

 

Announcement says,

there’s been delays,

engineering works causing affray.

 

The platform’s changed,

I’m turning deranged,

as I sprint to platform eight.

 

I just catch my train,

(these connections a pain)

we finally get on our way.

 

A seat on my own,

I pull out my tome,

absorbed in a classic romance.

 

‘til the people alight,

someone sits by my side,

with ipod and ears plugged in.

 

I huff and I puff,

at the jangly stuff,

a tinny annoying old din.

 

Mr Darcy must wait,

as distracted, I hate

to gaze through the window instead.

 

I seethe and I fume,

unintelligible tunes,

wishing their batteries were dead!

 

© The i’s and Ears 02.03.2013

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Most Humorous, Senior Superlatives, Fayetteville High School, 1960 (Photo credit: North Carolina Digital Heritage Center)

 

Copyscape

 

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
Like Loading...

Bless You!!

27 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by Worldly Winds in Childhood Memories, Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 23 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, childhood, Easter, Easter eggs, humour, memories, poetry, socks, tissues

Easter Chicks on a Boat

 

 

 

 

As you read my little poem,

dear reader, please remember,

it was a different time back then,

when things were so much simpler.

 

‘Twas 70’s eve of Easter Day,

when eggs and gifts await,

I was a quirky child of five,

excitement ever great!

 

I waited till my folks slept sound,

and all about was still,

I crept out from my toasty bed,

anticipated thrill.

 

Downstairs I sneaked, to take a peek,

at all my eggy plunder,

a gift I found, with eyes so wide,

I punched the air with wonder!

 

The gift was small and bright snow white,

soft as the purest dove,

A pack of tissues of my own!

‘twas what I’d ever dreamed of.

 

You see dear reader, ‘twas like this,

my ma a strict disciplinarian,

only hankies were allowed,

to her – tissues, unsanitarian.

 

I went to bed on such a high,

‘twas hard to fall asleep,

I never did anticipate,

how much I’d sob and weep.

 

I dreamed a dream of Grannies house,

where tissues flowed asunder,

pastel delights plucked from the box,

an endless cause of wonder.

 

Eater day soon came – at last,

I rushed to my delight,

Alas no tissues waited there,

just SOCKS, white and knee height.

 

I wept and cried, made such a fuss,

my ma was most perplexed,

she clipped my ear, and scolded me,

I was sent to bed quite vexed.

 

© Bless You 27.01.2013

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Easter Chicks on a Boat (Photo credit: nickstone333)

Copyscape

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
Like Loading...

A Winning Formula

22 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by Worldly Winds in Poetry

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Ayrton Senna, commuting, F1, Formula One, humour, James Hunt, Jenson Button, Lewis Hamilton, poetry, pole position, Sebastian Vettel, Stirling Moss, train connections, travelling

Five lights on, and we're about to go!

 

 

 

 

 

Have you ever played, ‘Train Grand Prix’?

I’ll tell you how it’s done – you see…

the morning commute becomes fast and fun,

the connection being, Formula One.

 

Alight the train – the game does start,

from A to B, before depart.

See your quarry, each the best,

overtake them on your quest.

 

…and on the inside Ayrton Senna,

lady redcoat, hair of henna,

overtaking Jenson Button,

Miss prim and proper, lamb as mutton.

 

Outside geezer, old and grey,

Lewis H has had his day!

Student alert, mean and clued,

move over Hunt don’t be rude.

 

Sebastian Vettel is in my way,

deftly dodged with no delay,

Stirling Moss with the wheelie case,

watch out fool, I’ll win this race!

 

In pole position, take the lead,

aboard the train at high speed,

connection caught and what a blast,

Train Grand Prix – do not be last!

 

© Train Gran Prix 22.01.2012

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Five lights on, and we’re about to go! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Copyscape

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
Like Loading...

The Morning After

30 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, hangover, humour, one too many, poetry, sherry, the morning after

A teacup on a saucer.

 

 

 

 

 

My pillow is lumpy,

my bed is a mess,

I cannot sleep,

at my own behest.

One sherry too many,

the room spins around,

I want to get off now,

and worship the ground!

The sheets are all clammy,

the air is so close,

as I wriggle and squiggle,

with cramp in my toes.

As I take a deep breath,

just one course I can see,

to admit my defeat,

and make a strong pot of tea!

 

© The Morning After 30.12.12

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

A teacup on a saucer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Copyscape

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
Like Loading...

Soldier On…

03 Saturday Nov 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Humour, Poetry

≈ 51 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, cold, flu, humour, illness, man flu, poetry, self pity

 

 

 

 

 

 

Farewell cruel world,

I’m leaving you,

it’s not a cold,

I’ve got the ‘flu.

 

It may well be,

my final breath,

my nose is red,

I feel like death.

 

Please don’t mourn,

when I am gone,

go on without me…

soldier on!

 

© Soldier On…  03.11.2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Photo Credit : http://9laughs.com/go-on-without-me/

 

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
Like Loading...

Hip Hip Hooray!

25 Thursday Oct 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 37 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Birthday, birthday bumps, birthday cake, candles, celebration, champagne, happy birthday, humour, poetry

Candles spell out the traditional English birt...

 

 

 

It’s my birthday today,

and I’m in a good mood.

I’m out for the day,

for some wine and good food.

 

I still feel quite young,

though my mirror would scoff;

I feel twenty three,

erm… excuse me – don’t laugh!

 

I’ve got a few pressies,

I’ll be staying up late,

I’m hoping there’ll be,

Champagne and a cake.

 

We might skip the candles,

as there’d be quite a few,

I don’t fancy a lift,

from the local fire crew!

 

I hope you’ve enjoyed,

my celebratory poem,

it’s just a cunning way,

to get my birthday known!

 

You can send me good wishes,

for my special day,

but please – no bumps….

or we’ll be here all day!!

 

© Hip Hip Hooray 25.10.2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Candles spell out the traditional English birthday greeting (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
Like Loading...

Carole Withany III – Rave!

16 Tuesday Oct 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Humour, Poetry

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Carole Withany, dance, humour, Murder She Wrote, poetry, Rave

Rave

 

 

 

 

Aunty Carole and Uncle Dave,

went out one night,

to a warehouse Rave!

 

With bobble hats,

upon their head,

they danced until,

they felt half-dead.

 

With neon whistles,

around their neck,

they bopped away,

they did – by ‘eck!

 

Around the clock,

– until half ten,

then they went,

back home again.

 

They made a cuppa,

took off their coats,

then snuggled up to

watch, ‘Murder She Wrote’.

 

Dave looked at Carole,

and with a grin,

said, ‘I’m really glad,

we didn’t stay in!’

 

With matching PJ’s,

and his ‘n’ her mugs,

Carole Withany,

gave him a hug!

 

© Carole Withany III – Rave! 16.10.2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Photo Credit – Rave (Photo credit: tuxthepenguin84)

 

Related articles
  • Carole Withany (worldlywinds.com)
  • Carole Withany II (Dave’s Seagull) (worldlywinds.com)

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
Like Loading...

Big Toes and Bath Taps

20 Thursday Sep 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, bath taps, big toe, humour, poetry, toe stuck up the bath tap

Slipper bathtub in Amsterdam store window.

 

 

 

 

 

I stuck my toe up the bath tap,

I know what you’re thinking,

it didn’t get trapped.

I wriggled it about,

then pulled back down –

and to my surprise,

it was mucky and brown!

 

© Bath Taps and Toes 20.09.2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
Like Loading...

Carole Withany II (Dave’s Seagull)

15 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Poetry

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Carole Withany, ee by gum, humour, poetry, Sea, seagull, Yorkshire

English: An adult seagull (Larus michahellis)

 

 

 

 

 

One summer’s day,

they strolled by the sea,

hand holding hand,

Dave and Carole Withany.

 

The seagulls they circled,

and the sea it did sigh,

an idea did emerge,

as Carole watched them fly by.

 

She looked up to the heavens,

excited she declared,

give me 50p

and that’s your bird there!

 

You’ll know Dave’s own seagull,

as it soars on the wing,

with a strong Yorkshire accent,

‘ee by gum’, it will sing.

 

Now legend still has it,

as myth is passed down,

that Dave’s special seagull,

has been seen in this town.

 

Now Dave is so happy,

and watches with glee,

for his very own seagull,

that cost 50p

 

© Carole Withany II (Dave’s Seagull) 15.09.2012

© Carole Withany 23.08.2012 (link)

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

English: An adult seagull (Larus michahellis) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
Like Loading...

Silent but Deadly

25 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, beans, diet, flatulence, humour, lentils, poetry, veganism, vegetarianism

To discourage seed predators, pulses contain t...

 

 

 

 

 

I’m silent but deadly,

I’m telling no lie,

I’m topped up on lentils,

with beans on the side.

Please don’t breathe in,

as you are sure to die,

I’m about to explode,

and blow us sky high!

 

© Silent but Deadly 25/08/2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print
Like Loading...
← Older posts
Newer posts →

Copyright

Protected by Copyscape Online Plagiarism Detection

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm Writer

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm Writer

Archives

Blog Stats

  • 69,352 views

Please click to support my page. Thank you!

Follow Worldly Winds on WordPress.com

Recent Posts

  • Night Star
  • The April fool is me!
  • MEAN PEOPLE!
  • Public Ordination
  • Retreating
  • Worldlywinds.etsy.com
  • Phoenix Poetry
  • Phoenix Poetry – Challenge
January 2026
M T W T F S S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« May    

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,912 other subscribers

Copyright

© Alexandra Carr-Malcolm and Worldly Winds, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alexandra Carr-Malcolm and Worldly Winds with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Goodreads

Instagram

No Instagram images were found.

Meta

  • Create account
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
  • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Worldly Winds
    • Join 2,142 other subscribers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • Worldly Winds
    • Subscribe Subscribed
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d