Calculating Cuddles

05 Friday Apr 2013

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 32 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, humour, love, mathematical equations, maths, napowrimo, poetry, UK poet, Yorkshire poet

Cuddling you,

is like a mathematical equation.

All elbows and angles,

spoonerisms and square brackets.

Just as a

parent he sis-

te-math-ically

square routes,

and exponentially

asterisks the mattress,

to become algebra

beyond my comprehension;

yet squared and integrated,

your obtuse, hypotenuse,

is surely a sine

that we can tessellate,

calculate and co-ordinate,

affirmative action,

and solve

an alternative angle,

between curves.

The geometry of

cardinal em-braces,

satisfies the

conjugated,

conjugal,

bed.

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

The Grand Challenge Equations: San Diego Supercomputer Center (Photo credit: dullhunk)

Backpack Buddha

03 Wednesday Apr 2013

Posted by Worldly Winds in Buddhism, Humour, Poetry

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Buddha, Dharma, meditation, poetry, rupa, teaching, UK poet, Yorkshire poet

I have the Buddha on my back,

he’s quite an affable chap,

with a candle and a cloth,

and a purpose,

I set off…

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

The Irresponsible Lotus

03 Sunday Mar 2013

Posted by Worldly Winds in Buddhism, Deep Stuff!, Humour, Nature, Poetry, Worldly Winds

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Buddhism, development, habits, lotus, mud, poetry, rebirth, spiritual death, spiritual growth, spiritual rebirth, stuck, UK poet, Yorkshire poet

The irresponsible lotus,

refused to flourish or bloom,

stuck his head

right in the mud,

and waited,

for monsoon.

He wallowed and protested,

Ostrich like – he did!

Regressed, decayed, and festered,

in ignorance he hid.

‘til one day came the sunshine,

of which he couldn’t ignore,

it beamed on him,

and warmed him,

and coaxed him from the floor.

He lifted up his stubborn head,

with squinting dusty eyes,

he blinked and stretched,

and relished it,

he felt so quite alive!

The rays of warm compassion,

a catalyst did start,

the more he grew,

the more he knew,

this was meant to be.

He blossomed and he opened,

his waxy tight bud heart,

he raised his head,

toward the sky,

and it set himself apart.

No longer dwelling,

in the mud,

irresponsibly –

the sun shone strong,

and so did he,

for all around to see.

His radiance and his beauty,

apparent majesty,

admired by all who saw him,

brought calm and clarity.

The moral of this story,

may be plain to all,

of the irresponsible lotus,

who answered nature’s call.

Please never judge a lotus,

that may be stuck in mud,

it just needs a little sunshine,

to coax open,

its heart bud.

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Trivandrum, India (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The i’s and Ears

02 Saturday Mar 2013

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, humour, iphone, ipod, poetry, trains, travel, UK poet, Yorkshire poet

I’m at the station,

feeling impatient,

wanting to get on my way.

Announcement says,

there’s been delays,

engineering works causing affray.

The platform’s changed,

I’m turning deranged,

as I sprint to platform eight.

I just catch my train,

(these connections a pain)

we finally get on our way.

A seat on my own,

I pull out my tome,

absorbed in a classic romance.

‘til the people alight,

someone sits by my side,

with ipod and ears plugged in.

I huff and I puff,

at the jangly stuff,

a tinny annoying old din.

Mr Darcy must wait,

as distracted, I hate

to gaze through the window instead.

I seethe and I fume,

unintelligible tunes,

wishing their batteries were dead!

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Most Humorous, Senior Superlatives, Fayetteville High School, 1960 (Photo credit: North Carolina Digital Heritage Center)

Bless You!!

27 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by Worldly Winds in Childhood Memories, Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 23 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, childhood, Easter, Easter eggs, humour, memories, poetry, socks, tissues

As you read my little poem,

dear reader, please remember,

it was a different time back then,

when things were so much simpler.

‘Twas 70’s eve of Easter Day,

when eggs and gifts await,

I was a quirky child of five,

excitement ever great!

I waited till my folks slept sound,

and all about was still,

I crept out from my toasty bed,

anticipated thrill.

Downstairs I sneaked, to take a peek,

at all my eggy plunder,

a gift I found, with eyes so wide,

I punched the air with wonder!

The gift was small and bright snow white,

soft as the purest dove,

A pack of tissues of my own!

‘twas what I’d ever dreamed of.

You see dear reader, ‘twas like this,

my ma a strict disciplinarian,

only hankies were allowed,

to her – tissues, unsanitarian.

I went to bed on such a high,

‘twas hard to fall asleep,

I never did anticipate,

how much I’d sob and weep.

I dreamed a dream of Grannies house,

where tissues flowed asunder,

pastel delights plucked from the box,

an endless cause of wonder.

Eater day soon came – at last,

I rushed to my delight,

Alas no tissues waited there,

just SOCKS, white and knee height.

I wept and cried, made such a fuss,

my ma was most perplexed,

she clipped my ear, and scolded me,

I was sent to bed quite vexed.

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Easter Chicks on a Boat (Photo credit: nickstone333)

Rainbow Fin

10 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Humour, Loss, Love, Poetry

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, fish, goldfish, pet, poetry, rainbow

I had a fish called Rainbow,

the ugliest you’ve seen,

he was almost transparent,

showing heart, and spine, and spleen.

He seemed to live forever,

a hoopla prize, most fair,

he grew quite big and chunky,

and swam without a care.

He wasn’t a rare beauty,

neither rainbow, nor a jewel,

but my little girl’s heart loved him,

he was strange, and bold, and cool!

He swam around in circles,

gliding through his castle scene,

and he didn’t seem to mind much,

when neglect turned his bowl green.

Then, one day, to my distraught cries,

and my childhood at an end,

I found him quite lopsided,

my poorly rainbow friend.

He’d lasted ‘til his teen years,

it was a sad old day,

when I said a few old holy words,

and flushed him clean away.

Goodbye! my quirky rainbow friend,

I loved you ‘til the last,

‘tis fondly I remember thee,

you remind me of my past.

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

fish bowl (Photo credit: Dean McCoy Photography)

The Morning After

30 Sunday Dec 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 11 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, hangover, humour, one too many, poetry, sherry, the morning after

My pillow is lumpy,

my bed is a mess,

I cannot sleep,

at my own behest.

One sherry too many,

the room spins around,

I want to get off now,

and worship the ground!

The sheets are all clammy,

the air is so close,

as I wriggle and squiggle,

with cramp in my toes.

As I take a deep breath,

just one course I can see,

to admit my defeat,

and make a strong pot of tea!

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

A teacup on a saucer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

That Sinking Feeling

29 Thursday Nov 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Anger, Humour, Poetry

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

abuse, Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, anger, arguing, divorce, domestic violence, poetry, separation

How could you not realise?

Did you not think?

…that I would not notice,

we’re starting to sink.

Atmosphere’s electric,

could cut with a knife;

a lightning conductor,

where lightning strikes twice.

Our words are so crossed,

it’s a tangled up mess,

there’s really no hope,

we’re doomed! (More or less.)

So it’s pistols at dawn,

as we’re matched in a duel,

with our rapiers drawn,

adding fire to our fuel.

I know it’s no contest,

this match that we’re in;

like hell will you beat me,

I’m determined to win!

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Lightning striking the Eiffel Tower (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Stuck with You

28 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 21 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, heartbreak, poetry, Relationships, selfishness, separation

Why am I so invisible?

you do not seem to see,

all the things I do for you,

I always meet your needs.

I know that when I talk to you,

I may as well be dead,

you do not hear a single thing,

that I have bloody said!

Is it that you do not care?

I find it hard to conceive,

that anything I mention,

you simply don’t believe.

We really aren’t compatible,

I know without a doubt,

one day I’ll take my boring self,

and get the hell right out!

Until that day I’m stuck with you,

and all your childish ways,

I’ll spread my wings and fly away,

(I’m marking off the days!)

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Bluestar Ink October 2012 Desktop Calendar (Photo credit: emily.bluestar)

Soldier On…

03 Saturday Nov 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Humour, Poetry

≈ 51 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, cold, flu, humour, illness, man flu, poetry, self pity

Farewell cruel world,

I’m leaving you,

it’s not a cold,

I’ve got the ‘flu.

It may well be,

my final breath,

my nose is red,

I feel like death.

Please don’t mourn,

when I am gone,

go on without me…

soldier on!

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Photo Credit : http://9laughs.com/go-on-without-me/

Worldly Winds

~ It's not easy being me!

Category Archives: Humour

Calculating Cuddles

Backpack Buddha

The Irresponsible Lotus

The i’s and Ears

Bless You!!

Rainbow Fin

The Morning After

That Sinking Feeling

Stuck with You

Soldier On…

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