28 Tuesday Jan 2014
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, dog, humour, love, pets, poetry, puppy, Spike, UK poet, Uk poetry, Yorkshire poet
Small and scruffy,
brown and woofy,
Spikey Spike dog,
is my puppy.
Scared of cats,
sniffs the breeze,
barks the birds,
to the trees.
Sits and begs,
for a treat,
always savoury,
never sweet.
Longs for noodles,
shivers for cheese,
dog snot windows,
covered in sneeze.
Paws all a twitch,
Whoops delight,
dreams of walkies,
in the night.
© Spike 28.01.2014
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
30 Saturday Nov 2013
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Buddha, Buddhism, Buddhist retreat, Dharma, enlightenment, humour, meditation, poetry, UK poet, Uk poetry, Yorkshire poet
Day eight in the Big Buddha House,
and all is well.
There’s jam on my toast,
and my drink is swell;
and even the rota,
says I’m free ‘til the bell.
Sat on the cushion,
meditation’s not pushin’
my buttons today,
all is calm for a change,
Mental weather is clement,
and nothing to lament,
in the Big Buddha House today.
Prostration – not frustratin’
and the bruise on my knee,
nearly gone thankfully,
and the muscles in my tum’
no longer undone;
I can launch with abandon,
then horizontal to standin’ –
not bad for an old bird like me!
Then the talks – they inspire,
and my mind is on fire,
with ideas and with thoughts,
with a passion they course,
and my heart it does swell,
and I’m leaning as well,
Yes! These things they call ethics,
are quite deep and complex,
let’s leave it at that, just for now…
Oh – the food is sublime,
as I sit down to dine.
Delia is surpassed!
Skilful cooks make repast,
and the smells in the steam,
am I sensing Tajine,
in the Big Buddha House today?
And then there’s our dorm,
floor two, number one,
where sisters in Dharma,
sleep safe, warm, and calm;
and I have to confess
though my bed is a mess,
and my corner’s a state,
we three, are good mates,
in our cosy warm dorm –
floor two, number one.
Day eight in the Big Buddha House,
and all is well.
There’s jam on my toast,
and my drink is swell;
and even the rota,
says I’m free ‘til the bell.
© The Big Buddha House 22.11.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Raven, with her hood down, meditating. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
30 Saturday Nov 2013
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Buddhism, enlightenment, habits, humour, meditation, poetry, tea, UK poet, Uk poetry, writing, Yorkshire poet
My tea is too hot,
my tea is too cold,
my tea is too sweet,
the milk is too old.
The toast is too burnt,
it’s not brown enough,
I wanted white bread,
Oh no… not the crust!
I can’t find my jam,
the banana’s got spots,
there is no fruit knife,
the apple’s got rot!
The porridge is lumpy,
I can taste tahini,
I’ve added some milk,
and now it’s too creamy!
I’ve lost my spot,
someone else is sat there,
I wanted to sit,
in my favourite chair.
I’m trapped in a corner,
I’m sat in a draft,
I’m too near the door,
Oh! All this is daft!
I should just be grateful,
that I’m here today,
living and breathing,
the middle way.
it’s ten twenty four,
we meditate in a bit,
I stand at the door,
now where shall I sit?
This cushion’s too high,
this cushion’s too low,
this cushion’s too lumpy,
and on it goes…
© The Perfect Breakfast 24.11.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
English: I took this picture. Grilled cheese sandwich with white bread, American cheese, and tomato soup. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
21 Monday Oct 2013
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Common cold, head cold, hot toddy, humour, Influenza, Olbas Oil, poetry, UK poet, Uk poetry, Vicks, Yorkshire poet
Just to let everyone know – my woman flu has finally cleared up! I just thought I’d share this silly poem for fun – thank you for all the well wishes 🙂
A poet with a head cold
is not so good to see
fuelled by Olbas and by Vicks
tissues to fell a tree
Cannot think of words to write
has lost their sense of meter
rhymes won’t work and sPeLing’s gone
it could be writ much neater
My brain’s contracted that’s 4 sure
and poems just turn out grotty
So I’ll just snuggle in my bed
and knock back ten hot toddies
© WoMan Flu 21.10.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Image of a container of Vicks VapoRub (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
18 Wednesday Sep 2013
Posted in Heartbreak, Humour, Love, Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Clark Kent, humour, John Wayne, Lady Godiva, loss, love, poetry, UK poet, Uk poetry, Yorkshire poet
I was your kooky girl
you were my Clark Kent
we blazed a trail
through Eden’s Vale
everywhere we went
We rode into the sunset
like Godiva and John Wayne
you in your Vauxhall Corsa
no gallant knight on horse
I never saw you again
© Galahad 18.09.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Lady Godiva by John Collier, c. 1897, Herbert Art Gallery and Museum (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
07 Wednesday Aug 2013
Posted in Children's poetry, Humour, Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Faery, Fairy, humour, pagan, poetry, tooth fairy, UK poet, Wicca, Yorkshire poet
Never trust a faerie,
‘tho pretty they may seem,
for when you are not looking,
they swear, and spit, and scream.
Do not be fooled by faerie’s,
their legendry looks well known,
they are not sweet, like in the books,
so please do not be thrown.
Depicted as the sweetest sight,
with wings that flitter and flutter,
dresses made of gossamer,
they melt your heart like butter.
It’s little known that faeries bite,
or that they would cause harm;
please don’t blame the insects,
for that nip upon your arm.
With golden curls that tumble down,
around their tiny frame,
with mischief and with sabotage,
the faeries are to blame.
When things go wrong around the house,
you know they are at play,
they wreck your plans, and break your things,
and ruin a good day.
You may think it is admirable,
they collect teeth from your mouth,
but how do you think they get so loose?
They punch the milk teeth out!
Never trust a faerie,
they are evil, sour, and bitter.
Do not be fooled by how they look,
an angry dragon’s sweeter!
© Never Trust a Faerie 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Prince Arthur and the Fairy Queen. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
05 Monday Aug 2013
Posted in Children's poetry, Humour, Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, humour, milk tooth, poetry, tooth, tooth fairy, UK poet, writing, Yorkshire poet
I’ve been playing with some ideas for children’s poems and verses. Ironically I finished this one yesterday just before a large chunk of my tooth fell out.
I’m now nervously waiting for the dentist to tell me tomorrow if it can be saved – Oh well on the bright side, the tooth fairy may well be generous?
I’m a little bit worried
to tell you the truth,
last night I discovered
a wobbly tooth.
I wiggled it this way,
and wobbled it that,
it started to hurt,
my gum feels quite fat.
I then ate an apple,
and that did the trick,
out came my tooth,
it didn’t hurt a bit!
The hole felt enormous,
the size of a pea,
I looked in the mirror,
’twas the size of a flea.
Now that it’s out,
it’s not quite so scary,
so it’s under the pillow,
for the bedtime tooth-fairy.
© Wobbly Tooth 05.08.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
The Tooth Fairy Tats 2000 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
22 Monday Apr 2013
Spider on the ceiling,
I wonder how you’re feeling,
is the world
down-side up for you,
and tell me are you reeling?
© Spider 22.04.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
A cartoon drawing of a spider. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
17 Wednesday Apr 2013
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, humour, muse, poems, poetry, UK poet, writing, Yorkshire poet
I’m in a tangle
I’m in a muddle
I have two poems
mixed up in a fuddle
I cannot part them
I try but they don’t
I tease and I prune
they simply just won’t
I’ve tried all that I can
I admit that alas
they’re conjoined forever
they’re really stuck fast
© Fuddle 17.04.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
kittentastic (Photo credit: Alicakes*)
05 Friday Apr 2013
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, humour, love, mathematical equations, maths, napowrimo, poetry, UK poet, Yorkshire poet
Cuddling you,
is like a mathematical equation.
All elbows and angles,
spoonerisms and square brackets.
Just as a
parent he sis-
te-math-ically
square routes,
and exponentially
asterisks the mattress,
to become algebra
beyond my comprehension;
yet squared and integrated,
your obtuse, hypotenuse,
is surely a sine
that we can tessellate,
calculate and co-ordinate,
affirmative action,
and solve
an alternative angle,
between curves.
The geometry of
cardinal em-braces,
satisfies the
conjugated,
conjugal,
bed.
© Calculating Cuddles 05.04.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
The Grand Challenge Equations: San Diego Supercomputer Center (Photo credit: dullhunk)
Worldly Winds 