Tag Archives: humour

Raised Eyebrow….

04 Friday May 2012

Posted by in Humour, Poetry

≈ 5 Comments

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(Tongue in cheek)

 

Maybe it’s a compliment,

you duplicate words I use.

Should I be happy that,

it was my lines you choose,

to replicate and mirror

and claim them for your own,

maybe it’s an accident that it

came out, like my poem?

 

I wonder were my words profound

and they made a mark on you?

I’m sure you’d never copy

the ramblings that I do.

 

 

Don’t get me wrong,

I’m flattered, that I inspired you,

to write a little ditty

the same way that I do,

but please try to be mindful,

and recognise the sight,

that I sign up to copyscape

to protect my copyright.

 

 

© Raised eyebrow 2012

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Not Going Right Day!

25 Wednesday Apr 2012

Posted by in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 9 Comments

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It’s a not going right day,

my alarm did not sound,

so I’m late and I’m cross,

and I’m rushing around.

 

It’s a not going right day,

I quickly undress,

the shower’s luke warm,

now I’m cold and I’m stressed!

 

It’s a not going right day,

I’ve run for the bus,

the driver didn’t see me,

he’s pulled off in a rush.

 

It’s a not going right day,

the rain lashes down,

(I’ve forgotten my brolly,)

as I walk into town.

 

It’s a not going right day,

I won’t be on time.

I look at my watch,

it’s one minute to nine.

 

‘It’s a not going right day!’

the receptionist shouts.

I look down and I cringe,

my top’s inside out!

 

It’s a not going right day,

I’ve forgotten my phone.

Each job is a nightmare,

and I long to go home.

 

It’s a not going right day,

but not for long…

as I see a bright rainbow,

and birds burst into song.

 

© Not Going Right Day 2012

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

 

 

Puddle reflection. Red Hill VA, April 2009

Puddle reflection. Red Hill VA, April 2009 (Photo credit: Janet Moore-Coll)

Ode to my Sons

20 Friday Apr 2012

Posted by in Daily life, Humour, Poetry

≈ 11 Comments

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Shoes

The toilet is a clever thing

with a lid, most like a door;

so please don’t wee upon the seat

or pee upon the floor!

 

Microwave or cooker,

it really matters not,

this magical flamboyance

will make your meals get hot.

 

Dishwashers are quite practical,

they clean pots ’til they gleam.

No clever sleight or trick to it,

just put the damn things in!

 

Crockery -or pots as we call them

are aids to keep you fed,

they aren’t for decoration,

don’t put them under your bed!

 

Food is quite sensational,

groovy in every way;

but when I go out shopping

don’t eat it in a day.

 

Clothes are sneaky demons,

they hide and split and breed,

but when they are all dirty

please put them in the machine.

 

Doors really are quite functional

they keep out draft and cold

and if you are from Derbyshire,

we say * ‘put wood in t’hole!’

 

The dog is cute, the dog is cool,

on this I must agree;

get of your arse, once in a while,

and take him for a wee.

 

I am your Mum – pink is my colour,

pink means it is MY stuff,

from ipod, pens to scarf and socks,

just keep your damn hands off!

 

* Derbyshire saying meaning – shut the door!!!

 

© Ode to my Sons 2012

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Camping Capers

10 Tuesday Apr 2012

Posted by in Humour, Poetry

≈ 3 Comments

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[en] camping, tent

I’m back from Devon,

I really am!

We stayed in a tent –

not a caravan!

 

They said it’d be cold,

I didn’t believe ‘em,

now I want to go home,

to my central heating.

 

The tent was fun,

it really was!

I really enjoyed it,

despite the frost.

 

The night was long,

we had power cuts;

we couldn’t do owt,

it drove us nuts!

 

The rain lashed down,

and the winds were a fright.

We sat and played Black Jack

on a cold, dark camp site.

 

I hated the night time,

I really did!

It was so flippin’ noisy,

sleep? – God forbid!

 

For hours at a time

the little ones whinged.

All the drunks they sang songs,

whilst the sober ones cringed.

 

Early morning was quiet.

No – I lied,  it was not!

The babies would bawl

to get out of their cot.

 

The mud was fun

as we took down the tent;

the rain not so much,

and I started to vent!

 

A six hour trip

and now we are near.

Was it all worth it –

shall we do it next year?

 

 

© Camping Capers 2012

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

 

camping, tent (Photo credit: Wikipedia)”]