15 Wednesday Aug 2012
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
85 – Under the covers (Photo credit: minxlj)
I’m in a dilemma –
Oh what should I do?
Why is it just me,
that this happens to?
I’m in my posh frock,
peng from head to my toes.
There is just one problem,
the spot on my nose!
It glows like a beacon,
landing the planes,
I really can’t squeeze it,
‘cos I can’t bear the pain!
There’s only one option –
one thing I can do,
hide under my duvet,
and eat a chocolate or two!
© Dilemma 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
25 Wednesday Jul 2012
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
Tags
foamy bananas, humour, poetry, sugar crash, sugar rush, sweets
I’m whacked out on sugar,
my mood it is high,
I’m giddy and playful,
just look at me fly!
No need to worry,
I’m prepared for the crash,
I have foamy bananas,
in my secret stash!
© Sugar Rush 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
08 Sunday Jul 2012
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
Step like fairies,
tread the air,
footsteps fine,
like no one’s there.
Cherish earth,
don’t stamp her down,
gentle steps,
caress the ground.
Pity creatures,
underfoot,
do not squash them –
Elephant!
Practice lightly,
as you walk,
silently,
your footsteps talk.
© Fairy Steps 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Fairy Offering Posy of Harebells to Elsie, the fourth of the photographs of the Cottingley Fairies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
06 Friday Jul 2012
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
With face of delight,
my son runs to me –
“I’ve tipped up a sheep!”
he shouted with glee.
My face drops with horror.
Well how could this be?
Am I the worst mother,
has he learned nothing from me?
“Calm down Mother!”
my son reassures.
“It’s not as you think,”
with derision he snorts.
“We walked in a field,
(in the group we were five,)
saw a sheep on its back,
with legs waving at sky.
It soon came apparent,
from what we could see,
that the sheep was so stuck,
‘twas a strange sight to see.
We tried hard to lift her,
but to no avail,
she was fat, wet, and smelly,
the weight of a whale.
Then out of the blue,
an idea did occur,
we spread out our groundsheet,
to roll her on there.
With one mighty tug,
we pulled the sheet up,
and the sheep it did tip,
(the right way up!)
So, off with a wobble,
and a, ‘baa,’ of delight,
the sheep she then trotted –
it was quite a sight!
So you see Mum, it’s true,
the things I did say,
we tipped up a sheep.”
(Thankfully – the right way!)
My Son says, I must point out that this is a true story. Whilst on a Duke of Edinburgh expedition, they encountered a sheep who was stuck on her back.
He told the story exactly as above – I was so relieved to find he had actually saved a sheep by tipping it up the right way, and hadn’t tipped a sheep over the wrong way!
He did give a talk at school about the ‘tipping up a sheep’ encounter, though I did advise him to change the title to ‘Saving a sheep’s life!’ (I was worried the teachers may have had a mild panic attack on seeing the title of his talk!)
©Tipping Sheep (the right way) 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Photo Credit
© Copyright Nigel Mykura and licensed for reuse under this Creative Commons Licence
04 Wednesday Jul 2012
A lady of a certain age,
adjusts her wardrobe,
to engage.
According to her needs;
to please her comport,
and ease discomfort.
That’s why I am,
wearing big pants today;
in order that I can,
Keep warm my back,
and show no crack –
the days long gone,
of scanty clad,
and frilly frills,
dressed to thrill,
send passionate pulses
palpitating – No!
I’m wearing big pants today,
and – just in case…
Of what, I know not,
I’ve packed two extra pairs!
© Big Pants 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
English: Drawing of cat wearing pants (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
30 Saturday Jun 2012
With knitted Kasas,
we’re on retreat,
we’re not in the Order,
but we’ve reserved a seat!
We’re not a Chapter,
not quite yet,
we’re just a paragraph –
On your marks get set!
© Julie’s Poem 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
14 Thursday Jun 2012
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
I’m sorry I used your toothbrush,
really I truly am.
I don’t know what came over me,
please don’t tell me Mam!
I really wasn’t thinking straight,
it was merely my mistake,
I saw it sat upon the sink,
it was the obvious choice to take.
A spur of the moment action,
to right some rancid breath,
a brush, a swill, to clear the air,
to prevent halitosis death.
I thought I was doing the right thing,
just to help out, you see?
To make his teeth go pearly white,
with breath all minty and clean.
I know it was quite wrong of me,
and it really wasn’t right,
but now at least the doggies teeth,
are clean and really white!
Smiling Dog (Photo credit: A. Davey)
© I’m Sorry 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
28 Monday May 2012
Posted in Deep Stuff!, Humour, Poetry
Never trust a faerie,
‘tho pretty they may seem,
for when you are not looking,
they swear, and spit, and scream.
Do not be fooled by faerie’s,
their legendry looks well known,
they are not sweet, like in the books,
so please do not be thrown.
Depicted as the sweetest sight,
with wings that flitter and flutter,
dresses made of gossamer,
they melt your heart like butter.
It’s little known that faeries bite,
or that they would cause harm;
please don’t blame the insects,
for that nip upon your arm.
With golden curls that tumble down,
around their tiny frame,
with mischief and with sabotage,
the faeries are to blame.
When things go wrong around the house,
you know they are at play,
they wreck your plans, and break your things,
and ruin a good day.
You may think it is admirable,
they collect teeth from your mouth,
but how do you think they get so loose?
They punch the milk teeth out!
Never trust a faerie,
they are evil, sour, and bitter.
Do not be fooled by how they look,
an angry dragon’s sweeter!
© Faeries 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
17 Thursday May 2012
I never was classed, ‘pretty’,
I was never deemed, ‘a babe’,
I chose instead to use my wit,
and walk the poet’s way.
My years of youth are over,
my life is halfway done,
philosophies from Yoda,
A wise old bird I am.
© A Spot of Silliness 2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
11 Friday May 2012
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
Oh dear!
What have I done?
How did this happen?
I’ve come undone!
I should’ve known
that this would be,
and that it would
go wrong for me.
What should be fun,
and cause no harm,
has gone quite wrong,
and caused alarm.
I’m so ashamed,
that it would be,
so obvious,
for all to see.
Now my mistake,
whilst unintended,
was caused by vanity,
and can’t be mended.
I’ve learned my lesson
and felt such pain.
I’ve rued the day,
and burned with shame!
© Oh Dear!
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Dunce (Photo credit: Candie_N (Will organize photostream eventually))
Worldly Winds 