For Sale

28 Thursday Mar 2013

Posted by Worldly Winds in Death, Grief, Poetry

≈ 21 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, death, grief, memory, Mother, Mum, poetry, remembering, UK poet, Yorkshire poet

This is the room

where you collapsed on the floor

pulled yourself up

and crawled to the door.

This is the day

when you gave it away

that you couldn’t cope

you were fragile and broke.

This is the room

where you gave it all up

your pride and your dignity

and your fine china cup.

This is the bed

where my letter you read

and kissed over my name

before you were dead.

This is the kitchen

your pride and your joy

with your Denby and Ercol

and no hoi polloi.

This is the garden

where your ashes were scattered

amongst roses and delphs

and our bleeding hearts shattered.

These are the details

estate agents don’t care for

when they’re selling your house

on a realtor tour.

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Vase for Denby by Elena Matyas (Photo credit: Birmingham City University)

Just the Air

22 Friday Mar 2013

Posted by Worldly Winds in Death, Deep Stuff!, Grief, Poetry

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Chanel, death, dreams, haunted, memories, Mother, nightime, poetry, UK poet, Yorkshire poet

This is the final piece from the poetry workshop. The final piece was inspired by Maitreyabandhu’s ‘The Bond’

The idea was to give a feel of anticipation of an impending visit, and use Maitreyabandhu’s closing phrase of, ‘Just the air’, within the poem.

Just the Air

All is still…

and I am present,

caught between two worlds,

just the air as our witness,

and a pillow of dreams

as darkest night unfurls.

I smell your sickly lily scent,

of cigarettes and light Chanel.

Why do you come?

What do you want?

Forgiveness or

remembrance,

from your little girl?

You left in anger

not once, but twice.

So why return

in darkest night,

when you’ve been gone,

these eight years long?

by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

English: Moon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Empty Nest

04 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Deep Stuff!, Loss, Poetry

≈ 16 Comments

Tags

Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, empty nest, empty nest syndrome, graduation, grief, heart, loss, moon, Mother, nest, poetry, rook, Sea, separation, shore, Son, stars, sun, sunrise

How can the sea,

leave the shore?

How can the moon,

the stars ignore?

How can I live,

without my heart,

and grieve for you,

whilst we’re apart?

How can my sun,

no longer shine?

I will not see,

sunrise sublime.

How can the word,

without the book,

the empty nest,

without the rook.

How can the empty

space be filled?

By graduations,

new lives rebuild.

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

English: Female robin cleaning the nest (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I Think of You

25 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Daily life, Deep Stuff!, Longing & Waiting, Loss, Love, Poetry, Waiting and Longing

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

aging, Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Birthday, Christmas, Daughter, death, garden, grief, loss, memories, Mother, Mum, poetry

I see an old lady,

and I think of you -

enjoying her garden,

as so should you

Tinsel and fairy lights,

I really miss you;

coloured stockings hang,

each a memory from you.

Then comes the summer,

and I mourn for you,

for all the lost days,

and the things we can’t do.

When I hear a joke,

I want to tell you,

to laugh like two schoolgirls,

‘til tears wet cheeks through.

Each birthday ticks by,

I wait for your card,

I know it won’t come,

but it still hits me hard.

When I see an old lady,

it seems so unfair,

‘cause you’ll never grow old,

no stick, no grey hair.

When I see an old lady,

with daughter at side,

I think to myself,

That should be I…

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

the stockings were hung by the…tv stand (Photo credit: LizMarie_AK)

Mistakes

12 Tuesday Jun 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Deep Stuff!, Loss, Poetry

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

loss, mistakes, Mother, pain, poetry, tears

You made the same mistake as her;

the truth is staring you in the face,

screaming so loud, you cannot see,

that you walk to the same dark place.

You’ve ventured down this path before

too far, turn back, embrace the pain

shame and defeat, walk hand in hand.

Is it too late to start all over again,

and to make the same mistake as her?

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

An illustration from page 30 of Mjallhvít (Snow White) an 1852 icelandic translation of the Grimm-version fairytale (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Wilderness Years

30 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Deep Stuff!, Longing & Waiting, Poetry

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

butterflies, cry, Daffodils, days, death, fleeting, longing, loss, memories, migrate, Mother, mourning, Mum, poetry, tears, wilderness

The Wilderness Years are over,

they are with us no more;

while birds migrate for winter time,

so Death has closed the door.

The days were, oh, so fleeting,

like butterflies in spring.

The time we spent together

made my lonely heart sing.

Shared memories of daffodils,

we laughed until we cried -

we cried until our tears ran dry,

I was ever by your side.

How could this have happened?

How could you leave this way?

I always think about us -

and mourn you every-day.

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

A show of daffodils by the A6091 Melrose bypass road These daffodils are on the northeast embankment of the A6091 near Melrose Roundabout. The verges of a 3km length of road from the roundabout to the eastern end of Melrose were planted with daffodils several years ago [562294]. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Bitter Sweet, Bitter Suite

23 Monday Apr 2012

Posted by Worldly Winds in Deep Stuff!, Longing & Waiting, Poetry, Worldly Winds

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

anger, bitter, death, heart, heartbreak, kiss, longing, loss, memories, memory, Mother, pain, tears

Bitter sweet, bitter Suite,

you break my heart again.

I gently hold you in my arms

try not to cause you pain.

This sweetness to be with you,

to see your face once more;

to cherish just one last sweet kiss,

before death slams the door.

Oh to be with you right now

to talk and laugh again!

For focus, love and clarity -

the calm before the pain.

You hold me tight and whisper,

but death clasps tighter still;

a grip around our fragile hearts,

it’s a bitter poisoned pill.

You try to look, you try to see,

but your eyes are not the same.

Could you even see me

when I screamed out your name?

The feeling of bewilderment

as you take your last breath.

You leave in anger, not in peace,

I can’t walk with you in death

Death claimed your heart, and you claimed mine,

you’ve gone where I can’t follow.

You’ve left me sad and broken down;

my heart is dead and hollow.

Bitter sweet, bitter Suite

the feeling’s still the same.

Life and death go hand in hand,

but the memories remain.

By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm

Elizabeth Siddal was the model for Sir John Everett Millais’s Ophelia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Worldly Winds

~ It's not easy being me!

Tag Archives: Mother

For Sale

Just the Air

Empty Nest

I Think of You

Mistakes

Wilderness Years

Bitter Sweet, Bitter Suite

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