Spider
22 Monday Apr 2013
22 Monday Apr 2013
17 Wednesday Apr 2013
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, humour, muse, poems, poetry, UK poet, writing, Yorkshire poet
I’m in a tangle
I’m in a muddle
I have two poems
mixed up in a fuddle
I cannot part them
I try but they don’t
I tease and I prune
they simply just won’t
I’ve tried all that I can
I admit that alas
they’re conjoined forever
they’re really stuck fast
© Fuddle 17.04.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
kittentastic (Photo credit: Alicakes*)
05 Friday Apr 2013
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, humour, love, mathematical equations, maths, napowrimo, poetry, UK poet, Yorkshire poet
Cuddling you,
is like a mathematical equation.
All elbows and angles,
spoonerisms and square brackets.
Just as a
parent he sis-
te-math-ically
square routes,
and exponentially
asterisks the mattress,
to become algebra
beyond my comprehension;
yet squared and integrated,
your obtuse, hypotenuse,
is surely a sine
that we can tessellate,
calculate and co-ordinate,
affirmative action,
and solve
an alternative angle,
between curves.
The geometry of
cardinal em-braces,
satisfies the
conjugated,
conjugal,
bed.
© Calculating Cuddles 05.04.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
The Grand Challenge Equations: San Diego Supercomputer Center (Photo credit: dullhunk)
02 Saturday Mar 2013
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, humour, iphone, ipod, poetry, trains, travel, UK poet, Yorkshire poet
I’m at the station,
feeling impatient,
wanting to get on my way.
Announcement says,
there’s been delays,
engineering works causing affray.
The platform’s changed,
I’m turning deranged,
as I sprint to platform eight.
I just catch my train,
(these connections a pain)
we finally get on our way.
A seat on my own,
I pull out my tome,
absorbed in a classic romance.
‘til the people alight,
someone sits by my side,
with ipod and ears plugged in.
I huff and I puff,
at the jangly stuff,
a tinny annoying old din.
Mr Darcy must wait,
as distracted, I hate
to gaze through the window instead.
I seethe and I fume,
unintelligible tunes,
wishing their batteries were dead!
© The i’s and Ears 02.03.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Most Humorous, Senior Superlatives, Fayetteville High School, 1960 (Photo credit: North Carolina Digital Heritage Center)
27 Sunday Jan 2013
Posted in Childhood Memories, Daily life, Humour, Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, childhood, Easter, Easter eggs, humour, memories, poetry, socks, tissues
As you read my little poem,
dear reader, please remember,
it was a different time back then,
when things were so much simpler.
‘Twas 70’s eve of Easter Day,
when eggs and gifts await,
I was a quirky child of five,
excitement ever great!
I waited till my folks slept sound,
and all about was still,
I crept out from my toasty bed,
anticipated thrill.
Downstairs I sneaked, to take a peek,
at all my eggy plunder,
a gift I found, with eyes so wide,
I punched the air with wonder!
The gift was small and bright snow white,
soft as the purest dove,
A pack of tissues of my own!
‘twas what I’d ever dreamed of.
You see dear reader, ‘twas like this,
my ma a strict disciplinarian,
only hankies were allowed,
to her – tissues, unsanitarian.
I went to bed on such a high,
‘twas hard to fall asleep,
I never did anticipate,
how much I’d sob and weep.
I dreamed a dream of Grannies house,
where tissues flowed asunder,
pastel delights plucked from the box,
an endless cause of wonder.
Eater day soon came – at last,
I rushed to my delight,
Alas no tissues waited there,
just SOCKS, white and knee height.
I wept and cried, made such a fuss,
my ma was most perplexed,
she clipped my ear, and scolded me,
I was sent to bed quite vexed.
© Bless You 27.01.2013
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Easter Chicks on a Boat (Photo credit: nickstone333)
22 Tuesday Jan 2013
Posted in Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Ayrton Senna, commuting, F1, Formula One, humour, James Hunt, Jenson Button, Lewis Hamilton, poetry, pole position, Sebastian Vettel, Stirling Moss, train connections, travelling
Have you ever played, ‘Train Grand Prix’?
I’ll tell you how it’s done – you see…
the morning commute becomes fast and fun,
the connection being, Formula One.
Alight the train – the game does start,
from A to B, before depart.
See your quarry, each the best,
overtake them on your quest.
…and on the inside Ayrton Senna,
lady redcoat, hair of henna,
overtaking Jenson Button,
Miss prim and proper, lamb as mutton.
Outside geezer, old and grey,
Lewis H has had his day!
Student alert, mean and clued,
move over Hunt don’t be rude.
Sebastian Vettel is in my way,
deftly dodged with no delay,
Stirling Moss with the wheelie case,
watch out fool, I’ll win this race!
In pole position, take the lead,
aboard the train at high speed,
connection caught and what a blast,
Train Grand Prix – do not be last!
© Train Gran Prix 22.01.2012
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Five lights on, and we’re about to go! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
30 Sunday Dec 2012
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
My pillow is lumpy,
my bed is a mess,
I cannot sleep,
at my own behest.
One sherry too many,
the room spins around,
I want to get off now,
and worship the ground!
The sheets are all clammy,
the air is so close,
as I wriggle and squiggle,
with cramp in my toes.
As I take a deep breath,
just one course I can see,
to admit my defeat,
and make a strong pot of tea!
© The Morning After 30.12.12
by Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
A teacup on a saucer. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
03 Saturday Nov 2012
Farewell cruel world,
I’m leaving you,
it’s not a cold,
I’ve got the ‘flu.
It may well be,
my final breath,
my nose is red,
I feel like death.
Please don’t mourn,
when I am gone,
go on without me…
soldier on!
© Soldier On… 03.11.2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Photo Credit : http://9laughs.com/go-on-without-me/
25 Thursday Oct 2012
Posted in Daily life, Humour, Poetry
Tags
Alexandra Carr-Malcolm, Birthday, birthday bumps, birthday cake, candles, celebration, champagne, happy birthday, humour, poetry
It’s my birthday today,
and I’m in a good mood.
I’m out for the day,
for some wine and good food.
I still feel quite young,
though my mirror would scoff;
I feel twenty three,
erm… excuse me – don’t laugh!
I’ve got a few pressies,
I’ll be staying up late,
I’m hoping there’ll be,
Champagne and a cake.
We might skip the candles,
as there’d be quite a few,
I don’t fancy a lift,
from the local fire crew!
I hope you’ve enjoyed,
my celebratory poem,
it’s just a cunning way,
to get my birthday known!
You can send me good wishes,
for my special day,
but please – no bumps….
or we’ll be here all day!!
© Hip Hip Hooray 25.10.2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Candles spell out the traditional English birthday greeting (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
16 Tuesday Oct 2012
Aunty Carole and Uncle Dave,
went out one night,
to a warehouse Rave!
With bobble hats,
upon their head,
they danced until,
they felt half-dead.
With neon whistles,
around their neck,
they bopped away,
they did – by ‘eck!
Around the clock,
- until half ten,
then they went,
back home again.
They made a cuppa,
took off their coats,
then snuggled up to
watch, ‘Murder She Wrote’.
Dave looked at Carole,
and with a grin,
said, ‘I’m really glad,
we didn’t stay in!’
With matching PJ’s,
and his ‘n’ her mugs,
Carole Withany,
gave him a hug!
© Carole Withany III – Rave! 16.10.2012
By Alexandra Carr-Malcolm
Photo Credit – Rave (Photo credit: tuxthepenguin84)